eaterofdeathx:

kingwithnokrown:

Moist cookies. <3

these are PANCAKES you dipshit.

eaterofdeathx:

kingwithnokrown:

Moist cookies. <3

these are PANCAKES you dipshit.

(Source: lexualsexual, via pizza)

@2 days ago with 207627 notes
lipstickstainedlove:

thebeautyofmoonlight:

spookynyan:

consultingpsychopaths:

that’s the spirit

OH MY FUCKING GOD DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST FUCKING SAID? DO YOU REALIZE HOW AMAZING THAT PUN WAS? THATS THE SPIRIT???!?!?! THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT YOU DICKSUCKING FUCKBUCKET THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. THAT IS ALCOHOL. NAY, NOT SIMPLY ALCOHOL. IT IS A SPIRIT. YOU ARE LITERALLY LOOKING AT THE BOTTLE OF BOOZE HE IS DRINKING, AND YOU ARE POINTING OUT THATS THE SPIRIT WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY APPLAUDING HIM FOR DRINKING DURING GRADUATION BY SAYING THATS THE SPIRIT. YOU MY GOOD SIR HAVE SUCCEEDED TODAY. YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MAKING ME PHYSICALLY BOW TOWARDS YOUR GREATNESS.THATS THE SPIRIT.THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. 

That is the best reaction to a pun I have ever seen

Jesus calm down

lipstickstainedlove:

thebeautyofmoonlight:

spookynyan:

consultingpsychopaths:

that’s the spirit

OH MY FUCKING GOD DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST FUCKING SAID? DO YOU REALIZE HOW AMAZING THAT PUN WAS? THATS THE SPIRIT???!?!?! THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT YOU DICKSUCKING FUCKBUCKET THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. THAT IS ALCOHOL. NAY, NOT SIMPLY ALCOHOL. IT IS A SPIRIT. YOU ARE LITERALLY LOOKING AT THE BOTTLE OF BOOZE HE IS DRINKING, AND YOU ARE POINTING OUT THATS THE SPIRIT WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY APPLAUDING HIM FOR DRINKING DURING GRADUATION BY SAYING THATS THE SPIRIT. YOU MY GOOD SIR HAVE SUCCEEDED TODAY. YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MAKING ME PHYSICALLY BOW TOWARDS YOUR GREATNESS.

THATS THE SPIRIT.

THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. 

That is the best reaction to a pun I have ever seen

Jesus calm down

(Source: niggablanco, via hyperbubs)

@2 days ago with 519280 notes
nickyrads:

leander-ligo:

lordthundercox:

Yes, it does.

Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

I’m dying

nickyrads:

leander-ligo:

lordthundercox:

Yes, it does.

Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

I’m dying

(Source: iraffiruse, via sleeping-with-no-one)

@2 days ago with 101640 notes
gapers:


One time we saw an ad for K-Mart on Addison. They were having a sale on photo portraits. For like 20 bucks you get the large portrait and wallet sized photos. I think this was 1994 or 1995. So we decided to take the sloth to K-Mart and get our portrait done. We opened up our closet pulled out some random stuff and I was like “Here Jim, you wear this God awful green polyester shirt.” I had a Lurex blouse. We had wigs that we bought in Hollywood from a trip we took to LA in the late 1980s. I had my Peg Bundy wig and Jim had a pompadour wig. But the pompadour wig had fallen so it was kind of floppy and disheveled. Before leaving for the photo shoot, I blacked out a couple of teeth.
We boxed up the sloth and headed to K-Mart. The photographer had no reaction when we took the sloth out of the box. No “Oh my god that’s funny” nothing. No reaction whatsoever. He was just like, “Could you hold that thing up just a little bit higher — that, that thing.” So he took the pictures and then he goes, “Would you like some pictures of the thing on its own?” It’s like the the solo baby photos. So they put the sloth on the stand and put some little stuffed animals around it.

Read more: The Story Behind the Sloth Family Portrait

gapers:

One time we saw an ad for K-Mart on Addison. They were having a sale on photo portraits. For like 20 bucks you get the large portrait and wallet sized photos. I think this was 1994 or 1995. So we decided to take the sloth to K-Mart and get our portrait done. We opened up our closet pulled out some random stuff and I was like “Here Jim, you wear this God awful green polyester shirt.” I had a Lurex blouse. We had wigs that we bought in Hollywood from a trip we took to LA in the late 1980s. I had my Peg Bundy wig and Jim had a pompadour wig. But the pompadour wig had fallen so it was kind of floppy and disheveled. Before leaving for the photo shoot, I blacked out a couple of teeth.

We boxed up the sloth and headed to K-Mart. The photographer had no reaction when we took the sloth out of the box. No “Oh my god that’s funny” nothing. No reaction whatsoever. He was just like, “Could you hold that thing up just a little bit higher — that, that thing.” So he took the pictures and then he goes, “Would you like some pictures of the thing on its own?” It’s like the the solo baby photos. So they put the sloth on the stand and put some little stuffed animals around it.

Read more: The Story Behind the Sloth Family Portrait

(via beastmodefooligan)

@3 days ago with 8862 notes
@3 days ago with 79557 notes
quacklemore:

i saw somebody tweet this about how to hide your phone in class anD ITS REALLY PISSING BECAUSE THE CALCULATOR IS CLEARLY RIGHT THERE LIKE HIDE THAT SHIT OR SOMETHING PUT IT IN YOUR BOOKBAG SIT ON IT STICK IT UP YOUR ASS DONT JUST LEAVE IT THERE UNDER THE DAMN CALCULATOR BACKING IF YOU ARE GONNA USE YOUR PHONE IN CLASS BE AT LEAST A LITTLE SMART ABOUT IT DAMN

quacklemore:

i saw somebody tweet this about how to hide your phone in class anD ITS REALLY PISSING BECAUSE THE CALCULATOR IS CLEARLY RIGHT THERE LIKE HIDE THAT SHIT OR SOMETHING PUT IT IN YOUR BOOKBAG SIT ON IT STICK IT UP YOUR ASS DONT JUST LEAVE IT THERE UNDER THE DAMN CALCULATOR BACKING IF YOU ARE GONNA USE YOUR PHONE IN CLASS BE AT LEAST A LITTLE SMART ABOUT IT DAMN

(via rneerkat)

@3 days ago with 254200 notes

boatany:

my sister proposed to her girlfriend last night and she keeps making jokes about being engayged

(via sleeping-with-no-one)

@3 days ago with 485351 notes

kitkatinc:

spelling bee administrator: you word is delicious
me: D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the D to the E to the to the to the
spelling bee administrator: hit it fergie

(via sleeping-with-no-one)

@3 days ago with 173412 notes

motionjessinwhite:

anotherpunk:

"Your dress is too short."

Thanks, the designer used your dick for inspiration.

OH MYG OD

(via pizza)

@2 days ago with 288341 notes
@2 days ago with 83840 notes

its-a-beautiful-bliss:

hipppiebaby:

poopflow:

whorville:

Do people under 5’4 even really exist?

they do, we just cant see them

fuck you guys

Woah, who said that?!

(via sleeping-with-no-one)

@3 days ago with 51746 notes
lucid-awakeningg:

tyleroakley:

caleighclements:

symphony-of-words:

raising awareness for turtle bullying.

a growing problem.

A very slowly growing problem.

This gets funnier and funnier every time I see it

lucid-awakeningg:

tyleroakley:

caleighclements:

symphony-of-words:

raising awareness for turtle bullying.

a growing problem.

A very slowly growing problem.

This gets funnier and funnier every time I see it

(via beastmodefooligan)

@3 days ago with 429261 notes

youcouldbemy-sanity:

She’s laughing because she’s thinking “lol same”

(Source: spasmer, via sleeping-with-no-one)

@3 days ago with 53892 notes

satanicnutellacats:

5th grade sex ed more like

image

(via sleeping-with-no-one)

@3 days ago with 81816 notes
loopyleprechaun:

I googled guinea pig with brussel sprouts and let me tell you I was not disappointed 

loopyleprechaun:

I googled guinea pig with brussel sprouts and let me tell you I was not disappointed 

(via sleeping-with-no-one)

@3 days ago with 75813 notes